I’m too sexy for these ski pants

On Friday Oct. 16 (we’re not going to talk about how behind I am…), I woke to an early alarm (we bought one of those cute old-fashioned ones that you can feel ringing in your teeth it’s so loud) and dressed in my most artsy-without-trying-too-hard outfit. I was off to my photo shoot.

Photographer Kyle is a Brooks Photography Institute alumnus, so I felt a special sort of Santa Barbara connectedness to him, though I’m sure that wasn’t reciprocated.

From my spot in the make up chair, I could see the table behind me disappear under all of the sporty outfits I’d be modeling that day. Three assistants worked under the direction of River, the guy running this MetrOasis catalog shoot, and one of the assistants worked as the translator.

The shoot started awkwardly, with me smiling as charmingly as I could, but doing little else. Without language, it was clear River was second-guessing his selection, but wait just a gosh-darn minute, I haven’t done this in over a year!

The male model, who looked like he had little more idea of what to do than I, made things a little easier. He towered over me at 6’2”-ish, but with his goofy smile, he could have passed for a kid. That’s probably also because our conversation was limited to my Chinese and was therefore seriously restricted.

Talking to him was a greater success than talking to the make up artist, at least. I tried to ask her who sang the song she had as her ringtone, and she just laughed nervously and shook her head. I know these words are right! Why are you shaking your head? She was quite sweet otherwise and even chided the assistants to bring me food while I was stuck in the make up chair and they were breaking for lunch.

The shoot started out with bicycle wear—why hello, padded bike shorts—and then moved onto winter wear. The male model and I were in and out of jackets and ski pants—pose, pose, pose, now both of you together, pose, next. The changing room may as well have had a revolving door. Kyle told me I was getting better, so I hope that means I wasn’t a total disappointment.

We ended with headwear (and gloves that required two other people to get them on my hands). Face masks, beanies, and headband-neckwarmer-bandana scarves. Kyle slipped NT$5000 into my hands at the end, and the group packed up. It was only mid-afternoon—I had completely missed school, darn—but I was ready for a nap.

No word yet about when the catalog comes out, but I’ll be sure to get a few copies.

The night ended with my exactly reaching my limit of green Taiwan Beer at the Factory with Colin, Pascal, and Andy. That made for an anxious ride home on the very last train.

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